When to Get a Divorce

When to get a divorce?

Are you having difficulty in your marriage and are considering divorce? Before you go down that path, there are two things you really need to consider.

One thing to consider is the financial consequences of divorcing and of staying together, which is not something I will discuss here.

Another thing to consider when you are wondering if it is time to get a divorce, and probably more important, is the emotional consequences on you and your family. Do you believe you have done everything to save your marriage?

Typically, when you are considering divorce, you have given up on the marriage and all you can see is the negative of the other person. You no longer feel in love, and you no longer act in love.

Shmuley Boteach writes in his book, 10 Conversations You Need to Have with Your Children, “If you ignore the people you love, and rarely show affection, that love will wither and dissipate over time. I have witnessed as much in far too many marriages.”

Boteach goes on to explain how to make a choice that may save your marriage. When we force ourselves to behave in a certain way, even if we don’t feel it, the action creates the emotion. When we’re unhappy, we are choosing to be unhappy. Conversely, when we choose joy, we are consciously choosing to dismiss those things that make us unhappy. We can choose to focus on the things that bring us down, or we can choose to focus on our blessings.

     Posted on October 15, 2012 at 3:38 pm | No comment

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