Collaborative Divorces Stop Family Destruction

How does the Collaborative process help stop a divorce from destroying a family?

That was part of the panel discussion at the 2008 Annual Forum of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. The panel was comprised of three couples who divorced using the Collaborative process.

One former husband explained that his Collaborative attorney said, “You may think you want more money or more property, but you main goal should be making sure your spouse and your children are healthy and happy five years down the road. If they’re not, then you’re lost.”

The former husband explained that discussion with his attorney was powerful. “It helped us to keep our child front and center.”

His former wife added, “If we can model a healthy divorce and a healthy post-divorce family, we’re doing our daughter a great service.”

For them, the Collaborative process allowed them to recognize and acknowledge their frustration and anger while mutually resolving the legal issues. All of the panelists described it as a protected and secure environment.

One panelist explained, “Even though we had hurt feelings, we were keeping our goals in sight, and we would keep the negative emotions from going to the next level.”

The ability to reduce conflict and acrimony positively affects minor children. “Our daughter is more relaxed and comfortable than she was before. She thinks our new family is normal.”

Some panelists pointed out it was a positive experience for their adult children as well. They used their adult children as a guidepost because they knew their children’s opinions of how they handled the divorce would impact their future relationships with those children. “Our adult child is happy that we’re doing something positive for our family.”

     Posted on February 15, 2009 at 4:14 pm | No comment

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