7 Tips For Dealing With Conflict That Results From Criticism

Many times we find ourselves in a conflict with our spouse or co-parent that has resulted from being criticized.

Tips for Dealing With Conflict

Honesty is important in relationships, so it’s important to control your emotions and respond in a way that sticks to the message you want to convey.

Here are 7 tips for dealing with conflict that results from criticism:

  1. Do not respond with criticism.
  2. Consider the underlying reason for your feelings. Is it the present situation, or does the present situation remind you of something in your past?
  3. Consider whether the other person is providing honest and truthful information that you just don’t want to hear. Maybe you need to exercise some more analysis to determine the amount of truth in the information.
  4. Separate the message from the messenger. Even if you feel the information is incorrect, consider whether the other person is providing the information because they think they are being helpful.
  5. Even if you feel the information is incorrect, consider whether other people share the same perspective as the other person. You may need to take some action to strengthen these relationships.
  6. You may decide that although the information is incorrect, there is no purpose for responding. You can simply thank the person and tell them you’ll give some thought to what they have said.
  7. If you do want to respond, you can do it in such a way that diffuses your anger and doesn’t escalate the conflict. A great example of a response is explained in the book “Joint Custody” with a Jerk by Julie A. Ross and Judy Corcoran. In that book, the authors describe using an “I” message. You do this by identifying the action, relaying your feelings, giving one reason you feel that way, and requesting a change in behavior.

    So an example would be:

    “When you say I should have taken TV time away from Johnny (identifying the action)
    I feel frustrated (relaying your feeling)
    because I am also doing three other things and can’t fully pay attention to what he’s doing (giving your reason)
    I would like you to help me enforce the punishment when you come home (requesting a change in behavior).”

Knowing these 7 tips for dealing with conflict can help you handle criticism. Reading my free e-book: “Does Every Divorce Need a Shark?” can enlighten you on the role your emotions play during a divorce.

Do you have questions about implementing the “7 tips”? Contact me online, call my toll free number: 877-687-1392, or call my local number: 239-210-7516.

Does Every Divorce Need a Shark?

     Posted on August 1, 2013 at 1:00 pm | No comment

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