3 Things to Communicate to Your Children of Divorce

It should be no surprise to parents that divorce has a huge emotional impact on children. Children’s needs should be paramount in a divorce, and parents should focus on their children in a less confrontational manner.

Children have to know that their feelings of anger, disappointment, and confusion are normal. Divorcing parents should learn ways to speak with their children about loving both parent, spending time with both parents, and living in separate households. These are the concepts that should be communicated to children:

1. Children don’t have to choose one parent over the other. Both parents love them, and they are entitled to love both parents without feelings of guilt or betrayal. They are entitled to spend time with both parents without complication, disruption, or hostility. Children need both parents in their lives, especially during the emotional turmoil of a divorce.

2. Children don’t have to lose their relatives. A breakdown in a family relationship doesn’t require the loss of important relatives. Children are still related to their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. They shouldn’t feel they have to give up those important bonds.

3. Children shouldn’t be embarrassed by their feelings. It’s normal to be scared, angry, sad, and confused. They should know that these feelings shouldn’t be dismissed or ignored. They need to know they have to find ways effective ways to transform and manage their feelings, which includes speaking with their mother, father, therapist, and/or other trusted adult.

     Posted on February 16, 2010 at 3:25 am | No comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *